


Vulnerability

by dunbar



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12058545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunbar/pseuds/dunbar
Summary: Liam has recurring nightmares and Theo lives with him and is woken up by one. They're soft and gay.





	Vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

> me? writing soft thiam as stress relief? it's more likely than you think.  
> it's 5am on a school night i hope this is not that terrible aha oops

Age 14, Liam's there again. Curled up on the ground like he used to with his birth father, trying to protect as much of himself as he could with his own body, which was always unsuccessful. It hurts. The fact that he trusted Brett hurts, the fact that he was known for having anger issues at all his schools and that Brett took advantage of it hurts, and the lacrosse balls really did hurt. And then, out of nowhere, it doesn't hurt. So he opens his eyes, slowly moving his arms away from his face, and sees Brett still. He isn't the young lacrosse captain Liam was bullied by, though. He's taller, his eyes tired, his hair lighter, his face covered in something dark and unrecognizable in the night—it might be blood or it might be something worse. And Gerard's pointing a gun at his head. Brett says the same thing he always says, "Why couldn't you save me, Dunbar." And then Gerard pulls the trigger, and it all ends.

Liam woke up startled, the way he did on a lot of bad nights. Surprised to find it was dark, and he was somewhere that wasn't the zoo, and he wasn't wearing a green jersey and covered in bruises. He was in bed, in pajamas, like he always was when he awoke.

"Liam?" The boy lying next to him mumbled and stirred, trying to adjust to being awake in the middle of the night. His digital clock read 3:21, and the wall clock 4:46. He swore he'd fix them in the morning every time he woke up like this, but the thought always faded too far into the back of his mind for him to remember when it was light out. Still, he'd grown used to it and knew it was probably closer to 4:21. 

It took Liam a moment too long to process that the boy was Theo, and that he'd been living with him for a while now.

"Hey, what's going on?" Theo sat up next to him, looking already more awake than Liam felt. Even in the little light from the moon through the window, he could see the concerned expression on Theo's face.

When Liam responded with nothing but silence, Theo shuffled out of the sheets to sit facing him on the bed.

"Want to talk about it?" He whispered, barely audible over the sound of crickets and the wind pushing hard against the window.

"Does it ever stop?" Liam muttered back. He knew the question made no sense without context, but it was hard to think clearly.

"The nightmares? No, not really." Theo admitted it softly, like he was sorry about it even though it wasn't his fault and couldn't be helped.

"What about the guilt?" Liam shut his eyes and tried to shake Brett's voice out of his head. His last words, and they'd been thanking Liam. He'd thanked him for saving his life, and Liam still had managed to fuck it up.

Theo looked at Liam sadly, an expression that only someone who knew exactly what he was going through would ever be able to make. "No. It just gets easier to deal with."

"I killed him. Me and my hero complex fell right into Gerard's plan and he died because of it. Lori died because of it. How do I just let that go?" Liam hadn't really intended to talk about it, but he was tired and scared and, despite what a bad decision it would've sounded like out loud if he ever said it, he trusted Theo. He felt safe around him, like he could be vulnerable and things would be fine.

"You didn't kill him, Liam. You tried to save him. That matters." 

Liam shook his head. "Sometimes I still get angry. I still hate him for how he treated me, and no matter how hard I try I can't let it go. He was my friend, but on bad days I just hated him. He never even said sorry. It's fucked up, he's dead and I'm upset that he never said sorry for being an ass when we were younger."

Liam dug his claws into his hands, and he so badly just wanted to burst into tears over Brett, but it wouldn't help. It wouldn't make him feel better when he was done, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be done if he started. He spent so many years thinking he deserved everything Brett did, and so many months after trying to forgive him without ever being given an apology, and now Brett was dead because he couldn't save him. He was dead because of him. And Liam couldn't forgive Brett or himself.

"Come here," Theo said quietly, probably catching the faint smell of blood from Liam's palms. He adjusted himself and held out his arm closest to Liam.

Liam didn't have to be told twice, and leaned into Theo, head against his chest and arms wrapped around his torso like he was afraid to let go. Theo took to gently rubbing circles into Liam's back, something that came instinctively to him despite his almost certainty that he'd never done it before.

"It's not your fault. Hell, you could've wanted him dead and it still wouldn't have been your fault. You tried." Theo put his other hand on Liam's head, slowly running it through his hair.

"I can't..." Liam began, his shaky voice somewhat muffled by Theo's shirt. "I don't want to lose anyone else to hunters. I don't want to be in a war, not knowing who I get to see tomorrow and who I don't. I don't want to not know which of my words are going to end up being a last goodbye."

"You're not gonna lose anyone else." Theo whispered back. 

"You, though. I can't lose you, Theo. I don't know when it happened, but if... I don't know what I'd do without you, or what I'd be. So please don't die on me."

Theo focused hard on not letting his heartbeat rise, seeing as Liam's head was almost right up against it, but it was probably hopeless. Liam had definitely heard it skip a beat if he was bothering to listen, anyway.

"I'm doing my best. But you're not allowed to die on me either, then." 

"Deal." Liam looked up with a wobbly smile, looking a bit better than he had moments before. "We should go back to sleep."

"Yeah, we should," Theo replied breathlessly, embarrassingly distracted by the way Liam's eyes shined in the dim blue light, and how smiling came so easily to him even when he didn't feel like it. He realized he'd probably looked down at Liam's lips at least once while he was staring up at him, and snapped himself out of his thoughts and unwrapped his arm that had been around the beta. 

Liam sat up, almost hesitantly, and stared at the boy in front of him. Theo was almost tempted to just lie down and try not to think about it, but Liam's gaze felt like it was holding him in place.

"Theo?" Liam said gently, as a way to break the silence more than to get Theo's attention since it was already clearly fixated on him.

Theo stared back expectantly, not sure exactly what the next words were going to be.

"I want to kiss you." Liam smiled shyly, and it sounded almost like a question. Theo was completely taken aback.

Theo didn't really know what to do with speechless, but he couldn't find the words to tell Liam how badly he wanted to kiss him too, so instead he lightly grabbed him by his pajama collar and pulled him in. Liam immediately closed his eyes and put his hands on the sides of Theo's face, in a way that was both gentle and desperate, like he'd wanted to do this for forever. 

Theo pulled away seconds later, with a smile, and Liam actually whimpered.

"It's probably almost 5am. How about we get some sleep and continue this tomorrow?" Theo offered, realizing how tired Liam looked and he himself felt.

That was enough for Liam though, and he grinned brightly before pushing Theo back against the bed and laying half next to him and half on top of him.

"You're cuddly," Theo acknowledged with a small laugh, wrapping his arm back around Liam on top of him. "I don't think you could get any cuter."

Liam gave him a pointed look and then broke into another small smile, resting his head back against his chest. 

"Thanks for being here," Liam whispered, listening to the rhythm Theo's breathing and feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he felt his sleepiness beginning to weigh on him. 

"Always." Theo could tell the boy had already fallen asleep on top of him though. "Night, Liam."


End file.
